


The Tard-Bible

by Mahaer_Mahmud



Category: Garfield - All Media Types, Minecraft (Video Game), OkBuddyMinecraft (Minecraft Sever), OkBuddyRetard (Subreddit), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 23:06:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19187107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mahaer_Mahmud/pseuds/Mahaer_Mahmud
Summary: The origin story of the Minecraft server 'OkBuddyMinecraft'.





	The Tard-Bible

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't write this, goldrat1 did. The only thing I did is to fix some errors. Most credit goes to him.

The Tard-Bible

Volume Alpha: Books One and Two

Written by goldrat1, under the guidance of the Ancients.

 

BOOK ONE: PROLOGUE

 

In the beginning, there was nothing.

And then, there were the Ancients.

Three, there were. No more, no less. They were the ones to create the world we stand upon.

There was the Doge, the Giver of Life. He shone upon with his ultimate glory, deep into the universe itself, giving life to all whom stray upon his mighty rays. He created all that plods, all that clucks, all that is friendly to Retardkind.

There was the Sans, the Deceiver. His white face shown at night, through his eye he created as well. All creations of bone, creations that scuttle, that crawl, that hiss. His creations were meant to test Retardkind, giving the valuable experience that the Retards required.

And, of course, there was Garfelo. He was not in the sky, no, for he was not needed to be. He lay in the core of the planet, spreading the riches of the land to all four corners of the World. He made all that bubbles and breaks, all that is hard and full of riches.

The Doge made the animals, the trees, the grass, the air, the water. Sans birthed the magma, the spider-crabs, the creepers, the dragons. And Garfelo made the dirt, the stone, the gravel, the core, and the riches of the earth themselves.

 

BOOK TWO:

GENESIS-GENERATION

 

In the beginning, the Ancients were to create the planet. They agreed upon and decreed upon its name, Setonite.

Each to their own, they crafted the planet, in Holy Paw, Bone and Garf.

On the First Day, Garfelo created the earth itself, Building the Terrain. He moulded the land into mountains and valleys, deep caves and towering cliff-faces. He spread all matter of metals; Reddit Gold and Silver, Diamonds, Emeralds, and so forth.

On the Second Day of Generation, the Doge shone upon with his infinite glory upon the land of Setonite, and so came forth the tree, the water, the pigs, the sheep, and all the unlimited bounties of nature. He shone, and kept shining, and shall forever more.

And on the Third Day of Generation, Sans looked upon the world, and with a wink of his eye came forth the monsters, the trials of the world. The crabs, the Sans-skeletons, the Dragon, the Nether. All necessary for the development of the true species.

And on the Fourth and Final Day of World Generation, the Three Ancients came together to forge the ultimate species, one to cultivate the land, to create beautiful works of art, to triumph against hardships and to build a wondrous society.

This species could not be perfect, of course, for the ultimate being leads to ultimate destruction. But one with enough imperfections to make the world worthwhile. Smart enough to brave the world, but retarded enough to try.

This species they called the Retards, and upon the Fourth Day, Retardkind was placed into the world at the Spawn Point, and the world was free from the shackles of the void, and the Ancients had created the world. Retard Civilisation had begun.

And the Ancients looked upon the world, in its near infinite beauty and complexity, its bounties, and of the Retards that now inhabited it, and together, they said:

"Yea, that'll do."

**Author's Note:**

> For those uninformed, 'Garfelo' is basically an overpowered version of Garfield. That's why Garfield is a character in this story.


End file.
